dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
