I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
