Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
