I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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