i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
is it fun? or sober?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
