The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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