Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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