Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
