Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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