Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
wow bdsm is so cute
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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