She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
