i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
