so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
