I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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