good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
