tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
