if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
