I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
