More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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