just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
