I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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