Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
tell me about the eggs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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