he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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