u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
