wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
