Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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