Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
