i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
