I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
