Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
