There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
