I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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