I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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