I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize