i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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