so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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