is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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