surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
