Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
