A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
