i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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