It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
