He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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