i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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