I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize