There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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