Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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