if you like me you must not know who I am
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
