I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
