Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
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