Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
