when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
