he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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