I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
