I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
