but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
