I accidentally had phone sex last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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