Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
